Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Friday, 5 December 2008
whoops - sorry, had my fingers in the wrong spot.
Thursday, 4 December 2008
There was a time - not so long ago - that you could count on the Liberals. You may have disagreed with their policies. You'd have been right to say they were oft-arrogant, an attitude no doubt the result of running one of the world's oldest functioning democracies for the better part of a century. But at the very least you'd expect them to be competent. To get things done. Quietly, seamlessly, and occasionally, with a touch of class. The Liberal Party - and by extension the civil service it built in its image - was an execution machine.
No more. The Party lost more than its two warring leaders in the Chretien-Martin feuds. In business terms, it's lost its ability to execute. The party that gave us free national healthcare, our own flag, and the ability to amend our own constitution can no longer find its way out of a paper bag.
Stephane Dion, the stiff academic who led his Party to its worst-ever electoral showing a mere two months ago, now wants to be our Prime Minister. Yet in his (and his sidekick Jack Layton)'s ravenous, near-rabid drive to topple the Harper government (one of which I am not a fan), I'm reminded of a Seinfeld episode. There was George, (a man so inept at life as to be unable to sustain a job or a relationship) who, upon hearing one of his lies about to crumble, running out of the bathroom yelling "Vandelay! Vandelay!" George trips, falls, then lands face-down on the floor of Jerry's apartment.
At this point a bemused Jerry stands over him, remarking: "And you want to be my latex salesman."
Friends, we're all Jerry now.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
you know, um, our fathers brought, uh, forth on this (snif) continent a new nation, you know, conceived, uh, in liberty and (snif) dedicated to the proposition that, uh, you know, all...all men are, uh..created equal, you know.
Now, um, you know, we are, uh, (snif) are engaged...in a great, uh, civil war, testing whether that nation, uh, or uh, any nation, you know, so conceived and so, uh (snif) dedicated can long endure. We are, you know, uh, met on a great battlefield of that...war. We have come to uh, dedicate (snif) a portion of that field as a final...final, you know, resting-place for those who here, you know, like, gave their lives that that nation might..you know, live.
It is altogether fitting and, you know, like proper that we should, uh, do this. But you know, in a larger sense you know, we cannot (snif) dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we uh, cannot you know....hallow this ground.
The brave men, you know, living and (snif) dead who uh, struggled here have you know, consecrated it far above our uh, poor power to uh, add or detract (snif).
The world will, you know, little note nor uh, long remember (snif) what we, uh, say here, but you know it can never, like, you know, forget what they did here (snif).
You know, it is for us the living rather, you know, uh, to be dedicated here (snif) to the unfinished work which they, uh, you know, who fought here have, you know, thus far so nobly advanced.
It is, you know, rather for us to, uh, be here dedicated to the uh, great task remaining before us (snif) that from these honored dead we, you know, take increased devotion to that cause for which they, uh, you know, gave the last full measure of devotion--that, uh, you know, we here highly resolve that, uh, these dead shall not have you know, died in vain, that uh, this nation under God shall uh, you know, (snif) have a new birth of freedom, and that (snif) government of the people (snif), by the people, for you know, the people shall not, uh, perish from the earth (snif).
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Monday, 1 December 2008
Friday, 28 November 2008
also, it's day 2 with Chinese Democracy. reactions to come...
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Thursday, 20 November 2008
I propose the following:
There are those who call it "porridge," and those who call it "oatmeal."
I belong to the latter, just so ya know.
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Gotta love the winter tires.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
Monday, 10 November 2008
This was the first time I saw Pat Metheny. I'd been a fan for so long before this show and it's been so long since then that it's hard for me to believe that there was a time that I hadn't seen him. I mean, I had seen Dizzy Gillespie play my high school years before - a fluke of luck booking for the concert series that usually catered to the blue rinse crowd. But PM was probably the first jazz musician I remember being an actual fan of, partly because my dad would always play American Garage when we had dinner guests and I remember they did a lot of entertaining back then. I had just moved to Montreal back then to start a stint as a fill-in reporter for RCI. My dad had helped me move up, right in the middle of the jazz festival, and Pat (yah, like we're on a first-name basis) was playing that night. But that's not really the story. The real story is that it's one helluva walk from Place des Arts to Club Soda. Like along the highway, through an overpass, "where the hell are we going?" kind of walk. Damn near missed the show and jeez, were we pissed at the guy who sold us the tickets, seeing as Montreal has subways and all. It's still not much of a story, granted, so apologies for those of you who've stuck it out this long and were hoping for some big reveal - like, we saw Pat and his band at a stoplight and got a ride in his limo, or we got invited backstage to chill with Roy Hanes, or maybe even mugged. But none of that shit happened. I'm really only writing this to get back into the writing game. So much of what I do now is simply copying and pasting that I think i've forgotten how to actually write - and what I do manage to stab out seems boring even as I write it. So apologies again if you've not yet come to your senses and are still with me by this point. This is also part of a project I have on the go to scan in all these old ticket stubs that I have and string them together into a story of some kind. Or at least another book with blurb. But the prospect of writing a book in one fell swoop was kinda terrifying, as I can't seem to write much more than a headline or ass-covering email these days, so i thought I'd roll them out - hopefully as amusing anecdotes - as I had the time and inclination. This is only the first. I think i have other, more interesting stories to accompany my other stubs. At least let's hope so - for your sake and mine.
Friday, 7 November 2008
Thursday, 6 November 2008
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
Monday, 3 November 2008
Monday, 20 October 2008
Thursday, 25 September 2008
Monday, 15 September 2008
Friday, 12 September 2008
Monday, 25 August 2008
- FM Transmitters that kinda work, sorta. Apart from cel phones, the biggest sham ever perpetrated on the ipod-buying public. Want some static with that song? Just enough to annoy the fuck out of you while you're trying to stay awake on the 401? There's plenty of models to choose from.
- iPod synching. Just try to squeeze one more song on there. Go ahead. I dare you.
- Any technology-related tech support. No one is looking forward to helping me get the best out of my router. (Hello, Linksys...helloooooo). If my call was so valuable, why is this my third fucking try? Why should I even NEED to know my fucking router IP address?
- How did my keyboard switch to french? WTF?
Teak oil really stinks. But it works wonders.
I like peaches.
Now even the tech sup....port....mu.....si....c....n.nnn..nneeeeeds tech...supp.....ort...
The Pizza Pizza guys always get my address wrong. Why is my order outsourced to India when the place that bakes the friggin thing down the street?
I'm not putting in the time to make this worthwhile. At least I don't think so. what do you think? Helloooo...Linksys...
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Thursday, 24 July 2008
- Heath Ledger's performance. Everything the Joker could and should be. It's like he's in a better movie running alongside this one and he shows up every now and again to show people how it's done.
- The first 20 minutes. Lean and mean, their success is betrayed by what comes next.
- Russian Ballerinas. 'nuff said.
- Bruce Wayne's Armani suits.
- The batmobile saying "Goodbye" just before it blows up.
- Trucks flipping over.
- Operation Skyhook.
- Disappearning pencils.
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
All plot, no story. As if Christopher Nolan said to himself, "If i put this many scenes about duality and darkness together, it will add up to a cool movie," rather than "What does an exploration of these themes look like and how would they play out among these characters?" Memo #1 to Mr. Nolan: You are not the next Hitchcock, sorry to say. UPDATE - come to think of it, I'd venture to say Christopher Nolan doesn't really understand characters. Or storytelling. What he does understand is plot mechanics. Consider Momento, or The Prestige. His movies are elaborate and intriciate constructions. They look great, have great casts, but they have no soul.
Clumsy fight scenes. Memo #2 to Mr. Nolan: Go watch the russian bath fight scene in Eastern Promises. Repeat as necessary.
Clumsy action sequences. This I found particularly odd, since the big chase scene in batman begins had at least as many vehicles moving around. Memo #3 to Mr. Nolan: Go watch any / all of the following to see how to stage action setpices:
- The French Connection
- Ben Hur
- Terminator 2, Aliens or any James Cameron movie that has large metal things smashing into each other.
Aaron Eckhart's performance. Pains me as it does to write this, seeing as i saw the guy in London while he was still shooting, but I didn't believe his performance as the do-gooder. So, cool makeup aside, I didn't buy his transformation. Sorry dude, you were better in Thank You for Smoking and, if it makes you feel any better, you were the best thing about Erin Brockovich.
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
am i just wasting my time, amelia?
are you awake? are you ready for the country? are you real?
beware of darkness beyond the pale
bullet buried in your heart
begin the beguine behind that locked door
california dreamline, california uber alles
Monday, 21 July 2008
"There's no problem at all, sir," he said. "Enjoy the weekend."
I can only imagine, or maybe project, the sheer terror that went thru this guy's mind when he said this. But hey, Carroll, a shout out to you for getting it. If your hotel chain comes up in conversation, i'll be sure to give it the good word.
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Plus - Nicholas Carr (he of the somewhat ongoing debate w/Don Tapscott about the value of IT), about what's happening to our google-addled brains. read it here: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200807/google
If only McLuhan was here today.
"...as a matter of fact I happen to have Mr. McLuhan right here."