Wednesday, 30 January 2013

How about that local sports team?

The braintrust behind Ottawa's new CFL team has narrowed the list of possible names down to five. They are:

The Ottawa RedBlacks
The Ottawa Voyageurs
The Ottawa Raftsmen
The Ottawa Nationals
The Ottawa Rush

I'd be lying if I said any of these excites me in the least. But, in one of those rare occurrences, this opinion seems to be that of the majority.

I understand the rationale behind "RedBlacks" - other Ottawa teams like the 67s (owned by the same braintrust referenced above) and the Sens both wear red and black. But there's no such "thing" as a RedBlack, and the word itself is clumsy to say, what with all those consonants crammed into each other in the middle there.

Ottawa "Red and Black," maybe, like the "Rouge et Or" of Université Laval.

I've never bought into the singular approach, either, so unless the owners promise to play "Tom Sawyer" at every kickoff I'd have to say that one's out, too.

Plus, getting the rights to play Tom Sawyer that often could get expensive.

After all, ten bucks is ten bucks.

I thought maybe the "Log Drivers" would be a good choice. It's local, and has its own halftime song:

Clay is nothing if not helpful, so with all of the above in mind, I'd like to present my suggestions that capture what I think is the essence of our national capital vibe.

Presenting, for your consideration, the CFL's newest franchise....

The Ottawa Landsdowners
The Ottawa Boondogglers
The Ottawa Compromisers
The Ottawa Fartcatchers
The Ottawa Nimbys
The Ottawa Royal Commissions (RC's for short)
The Ottawa SouthSide Suckers

Any of these tempt you?

By the way, I own copyright on all of them.    

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